A message from Bruno to you

I've heard there's a job going in London on 4th July. Anyone can apply for it - but it might just be too good to be true... Let's take a look!

Apparently: 

  • The job pays £91,346 a year, plus expenses, with pension contributions thrown in too.
  • I get a swanky, fully paid-for pad in Mayfair (plenty of room for a posh new basket).
  • With free first class rail fares to and from London, I can bunk off back to the north west whenever I feel like it.
  • I only have to work Mondays to Thursdays and get Fridays off - and I get the whole summer off, too! Ideal for the lazier dog, like me.
  • It's the last place in the UK where I can get drunk at work with no questions asked (and I can chuck a sickie anytime when the hangovers really kick in).

And as for the job description...well, there isn't one, so I can just make it up as I go along - perfect! 

Sounds like a dog's life!

So, it looks like I can go for a walk in Hyde Park and take a leisurely swim in the Serpentine whenever I want. All I have to do is tell everyone in Manchester that I'm in London and everyone in London that I'm in Manchester.

After all, there's no accountability for my time spent in either place.

However, there's one big problem with my application for such an unbelievable job opportunity. Although I identify as a human being, they're saying "dogs can't apply", which is extremely offensive to me.

To get around this frankly rude act of discrimination, I've asked my walking mate, Marcus Farmer, to put his name down for the job instead.

As long as I get to present my  own promotional films - marking the first time in UK politics that a manifesto (AKA job application) has been presented in such a way - I'll be happy.

We just need to know on 5th July if we've got the job or not as if we haven't, we'll probably swan off on holiday.

So, there's only one last thing to say. Have a look at this website, watch the films and think about backing the underdog with a completely different take on how all this political business should be done.

And ask yourself: What have you got to lose?

Vote for my mate - Marcus Farmer Independent for Cheadle MP